oh im sorry honey but i dont really know how to answer this. i will try my best though.
how to deal with guilt: what guilt? do you feel guilty about lying?
dont focus on the guilt honey, if you’re not ready to come out then theres nothing you can do.
how to deal with fear: you know the answer to this. you just can’t accept it yet. to overcome fear you need to face it. for you, that means coming out. until then you will have to live with the fear. sadly, i dont think there is any other cure.
im sorry im not much help, i give advice based on personal experiences and i’ve never been in this sort of position so yeah i dont know what to say. but i do know; honey you have to try and be happy. focus on the good things in life and try not to dwell on the bad. the easiest way to be happy is to be yourself; so coming out would allow you to do that. i know its scary and hard. and maybe when you first come out things might go down hill, but it’ll get better. you’ll find your true friends and you will be able to live without that fear and guilt. you’ll be able to truly be yourself. things might not be amazing straight away but i promise as time passes it will get better.
good luck <3